If you're not having fun watching the Columbus Blue Jackets right now, you're on your own.
They're not winning a Stanley Cup, and they're unlikely to make the postseason.
But damn if this team isn't one of the most entertaining in franchise history. And while the team may have some defensive issues that need worked out, one thing is for sure: this team's capability to score goals could be second-to-none in franchise history by the time the end of April arrives.
Sunday's 6-4 win over the Vegas Golden Knights was the 15th time this season the Blue Jackets scored five or more goals in a game, and the ninth time — in just 60 games — they've had a half-dozen or more in a game.
In 56 games last season, the Blue Jackets hit the five-goal mark just five times, and in just one game did they score six in a single game. They didn't score six goals in a single game during the 70-game, Covid-shortened season of 2019-20.
Historically, the Blue Jackets are already nearing franchise record for both five and six goal games, and there's still a quarter of the season left to play. Take a look at the chart below:
| Season | GP | 5+ | 6+ |
| 2021-22 | 60 | 15 | 9 |
| 2020-21 | 56 | 5 | 1 |
| 2019-20 | 70 | 8 | 0 |
| 2018-19 | 82 | 17 | 11 |
| 2017-18 | 82 | 18 | 4 |
| 2016-17 | 82 | 13 | 7 |
| 2015-16 | 82 | 15 | 6 |
| 2014-15 | 82 | 13 | 3 |
| 2013-14 | 82 | 11 | 4 |
| 2012-13 | 48 | 3 | 2 |
| 2011-12 | 82 | 10 | 2 |
| 2010-11 | 82 | 6 | 1 |
| 2009-10 | 82 | 8 | 2 |
| 2008-09 | 82 | 12 | 4 |
| 2007-08 | 82 | 5 | 2 |
| 2006-07 | 82 | 10 | 1 |
| 2005-06 | 82 | 11 | 3 |
| 2004-05 | NHL Lockout | ||
| 2003-04 | 82 | 3 | 0 |
| 2002-03 | 82 | 12 | 3 |
| 2001-02 | 82 | 4 | 1 |
| 2000-01 | 82 | 10 | 3 |
Columbus scoring five or more goals in 25% of their games this season. That's more than 3% better than the franchise mark of 18, set in the 2017-18 season. The Blue Jackets are on pace to hit the mark 21 times this season.
Scoring six times in a game is coming with relative ease, too. If they do that just twice more in the final 22 games of the season, they'll have matched the franchise mark with 11 games of six or more tallies. Right now, they're doing that roughly every six games.
It's not just all-or-nothing for this team, either. For the season, the Blue Jackets are top ten in the league at 3.31 goals per game. It's only the second time in franchise history that the Blue Jackets have ranked top ten in the category, after ranking in the bottom ten an absurd 13 times in the first 20 seasons.
| Season | GP | Goals | GPG | Rank |
| 2021-22 | 60 | 199 | 3.31 | T-9th |
| 2020-21 | 56 | 137 | 2.44 | 29th |
| 2019-20 | 70 | 180 | 2.57 | 28th |
| 2018-19 | 82 | 258 | 3.14 | 12th |
| 2017-18 | 82 | 242 | 2.95 | 17th |
| 2016-17 | 82 | 249 | 3.03 | 6th |
| 2015-16 | 82 | 219 | 2.67 | 18th |
| 2014-15 | 82 | 236 | 2.87 | 12th |
| 2013-14 | 82 | 231 | 2.81 | 12th |
| 2012-13 | 48 | 120 | 2.50 | 25th |
| 2011-12 | 82 | 202 | 2.46 | 26th |
| 2010-11 | 82 | 215 | 2.62 | 24th |
| 2009-10 | 82 | 216 | 2.63 | 21st |
| 2008-09 | 82 | 226 | 2.75 | 21st |
| 2007-08 | 82 | 193 | 2.35 | 29th |
| 2006-07 | 82 | 201 | 2.45 | 28th |
| 2005-06 | 82 | 223 | 2.71 | 28th |
| 2004-05 | NHL Lockout | |||
| 2003-04 | 82 | 177 | 2.15 | 29th |
| 2002-03 | 82 | 213 | 2.59 | 16th |
| 2001-02 | 82 | 164 | 2.00 | 30th |
| 2000-01 | 82 | 190 | 2.31 | 26th |
While the Blue Jackets aren't as high as their 6th-ranked goals per game average in the 2016-17 season, they are scoring goals at a 9% higher rate this season than in that season. (Ten goal games help, too: the 2016-17 season was the game in which Columbus set a franchise record with ten goals in a game. Had they been shutout in just that one game, they would have dropped from 6th on the season all the way to 12th, and had they scored three, they would have finished tied for 9th — the exact spot they own as of Monday afternoon.)
Pending an absolute disaster, the Blue Jackets will finish with franchise records in both total goals scored and goals per game. What kind of disaster would it take for them not to set the mark on the former? Sixty goals in the final 22 games will break the record, or an average of 2.72 goals per game. Patrik Laine may get that by himself — blindfolded — at the rate he's going.
Columbus leads the metro in goals for the season. If that holds, it'll be the first time in club history they've led their division in goals.
The #CBJ lead the Metropolitan Division in goals scored
— CBJ Stats (@BlueJacketStats) March 14, 2022
(and in goals allowed.)
The truly fascinating part of all this is that the Blue Jackets are doing this with a first-year head coach, a below-average power play, and their best offensive threat shelved for nearly eight weeks with an oblique injury.
The other, possibly even more fascinating part? Cole Sillinger is a rookie. Yegor Chinakhov is a rookie. Kent Johnson and Kirill Marchenko, equally dazzling talents to the first two, will join the team next season. In other words: there's a really good chance this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Strap in, and if cannons aren't your thing, trips to the arena district may not be advisable for quite some time.
